Boob Day!

...we all have good days and bad days I guess...

Today is Tuesday, which means, it's BOOB DAY! The day I go in and get my boobs pumped up. I'm running low on time though, so I'm going to ask if I can come back in on Friday and get another pump. Cross your fingers for me.

Today is also a day when I woke up with a raging headache. It sucks. My head hurts so bad right now. I really need to buy some smaller tylenol too. I took some a few minutes ago, but because of their coating, they get stuck going down and almost cause more grief than the headache itself. Grr. They are mostly down now though, and so hopefully this headache will get outta here soon too. It hurts all the way down my neck.

Well, we all have good days and bad days I guess. Overall, I'm feeling better with life. I have some great friends now, that I actually hang out with! And some good friends at work too, so it makes my day easier. My weight loss is going brilliantly, even with the lack of exercise, which, by the way, I should be able to start up again tomorrow. Yay!! So it'll be back to the elliptical for me. *grins* I can't wait. I already have been sneaking in a little here and there to make sure my body hasn't forgotten how to exercise. Just nothing too horribly heart pounding.

Well, that's all for now. My head is still pounding, so thinking of what to write is causing me pain.

My Ex-Boobs - Part 2

Note: This was written about an event that happened last week, on July 10th, 2008.

...it's still fun to ride inthe bed...

Wheeling into the anesthesia waiting room, (Yes, there's a separate room for that stuff..lol) looking around, I see so much stuff in the hallways. It's like they ran out of storage or something. The hallways have so much stuff in them its hard for the nurse to navigate me through.


Even though I'm shaking from fear of the foot IV, it's still fun to ride in the bed and having someone push you around.


They wheeled me to the middle of the anesthesia room. It's just big enough for three beds, and the last two times I had surgery I was on the end by the door. It's weird to be in the middle this time, and I comment on that to the nurse. She doesn't answer me back, I'm not sure she heard me. Oh well.


There are two doctors in here. One is the anesthesia doctor that's supposed to set up my IV. I tell them that I have an extreme fear of needles and that I'm freaking out a little about the foot IV. I tell them that I'm shaking too. He kinda laughs about that and asks why they said I would get a foot IV.

I say, "I dunno, they said you told them to."


He says he doesn't need to do that. It would only be if they were taking out lymph nodes on both sides, and since they're not, he won't need to. Immediately I feel relieved and the shaking subsides a little. He tells me that he's going to give me a painkiller shot before putting in the IV, and I'm dubious about this. I'm thinking that I don't want to get poked twice! NO way. I tell him about this thought, and the other doctor says it's a good thing that he's doing this. The first one is really small, and I won't feel the second one.

He injects the small needle into my hand, and it pinches a little, nothing drastic though. Then after 30 seconds or so he tells me he's starting the second one. I'm all prepped for what a normal IV feels like and then... it's over. I didn't feel a thing. I'm elated inside, and so grateful that he gave me that little numbing shot. Wow. I'd never known it could be that easy!!


They give me some drugs, antibiotics, benedryl, and some other stuff. I tell him about the last surgeries I was in and that one I could remember all the way to the operating room, but the other I could only remember to the anesthesia room. He says that's because the drugs I'm getting play tricks with my memory.


I vaguely remember moving from my bed to the operating table, and them putting up the arm rests.



That's it for now. I'll try and get more in later, or tomorrow.

My Ex-Boobs - Part 1

Note: This was written about an event that happened last week, on July 10th, 2008.

...positives like not having to wear a bra...

It's early Thursday morning. I have to get up and shower with the special soap so I'll be ready for surgery. I'm supposed to be there at 6:45 AM. Man that's early. I'm awake at about 6 o'clock. I figured that would be enough time to shower and use the special soap. I can't eat, not supposed to eat past midnight the night before.


I walk into the kitchen to get a small glass of water. Gotta make sure I take my breathing meds today. Breathing is very important during surgery. My stomach is growling, but it's okay, It'll only be for a little while. I take my shower, wash with the special anti-bacterial soap, and get dressed.


Sitting on the couch, waiting for Rob to wake up, crying a little for the inevitable loss of my boobs. Trying to think of the positives, like not having to wear a bra, or those cool little strapless tank top things. Trying to put this into perspective. It's only a couple of fat balls on my chest that fill out my bra, and what is that really, compared to saving my life from cancer? Will I really be missing all that much?


Staring at the clock. Time is going by so slow. I wish it was just time already, and that I was in the oblivion of anesthesia already.


Rob's finally up, I can hear the bedroom door open, then the bathroom door closes. It won't be long now till we go. I make my last minute preparations. I gather my iPod, and my DS, and make sure my meds are all packed up. I get my hat ready, and grab my crayons and coloring book in case I get bored in the hospital. I put my keys in my purse, and open the front door. It's awfully hot in here, dang.


I hear the bathroom door open, and Rob comes out. I tell him that I don't want to go, I'm scared. Mostly I'm afraid that I'll die on the operating table. He reminds me that it's all for the better good. The doctors cleared my heart for surgery, so I should be ok. Still though, I have that doom feeling you get right before something bad happens. There's nothing I can do though. It's either go through with it or die slowly from the cancer, right?


We drove quietly to the hospital. He got me for a couple slug-bugs on the way. We parked pretty close and we went inside.


In through the ER, up the elevator to the 2nd floor, and checked in with the receptionist. Watched that show "It's me or the dog" on Animal planet, in the waiting room while waiting to get called back to prep for surgery. Talked to the check-in lady to get the insurance papers signed, then went back to get prepped.
This is my 3rd surgery this year, so it's all pretty second hat to me now. Been there - done that, sort of thing. We get to the little temporary room, and I put on my purple bear gown. They say that since I'm having surgery on both sides, that they'll need to put the IV in my foot. They don't like using the port for that. I really didn't want them to use the port either, bad memories and all that. I wasn't sure about the foot thing though. That just sounded creepy. I almost teared up just thinking about it. I even started shaking from the fear of it.


They said that the anesthesiologist wanted to do the IV though, so they wouldn't be doing it right then. They took my temp with this rolling thingy they ran across my forehead. They took my blood pressure. Then the Teds and Scuds... lol. What are Teds and Scuds, you ask? The Teds are long white stocking things that keep compression to help with circulation. The Scuds (that word may be spelled wrong, but that's what it sounds like) are these weird over-wrappings that feel like a low pressure blood pressure cuff. They go all the way up past your knee, and they massage your legs, also for circulation.


They tested my blood sugar, with one of those finger-prickers. They said I was anemic. I got some oral meds, for something. I can't remember what now. They were about to take me back, so Rob left, to return after it's over.


That's it for now. I'll try and get more in later, or tomorrow.

Diagnosis.

...I have breast cancer....

I have breast cancer. I don't really want to talk about it, because it upsets me. Please don't bring it up to me, if I want to talk about it to you, I will.

I was diagnosed Monday, Feb 4th. They say I have a 90% chance if I do all my chemo and stuff. I'm starting that sometime next week.

This is all I know for now, I will update later if anything changes. If you want to leave comments you can, but I can't guarantee I will read them or respond to them.

Thanks for your cooperation. Love ya all!

Ouch.

...They made sure I was the right person...

Surgery is over. It wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. It hurts now though! lol.

Here's how it went down. Thursday morning we got up bright and early. I took a shower, washing first with regular soap, then again with the special anti-bacterial soap I was given. It didn't smell so great, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been, I suppose.

After that we drove over to the hospital and my boyfriend dropped me off. He waited around for a bit, but they had stuff to do that he couldn't be back there for and he had to get the kids off to school.

My surgery was scheduled for 9:15 AM, and I got there just before 7:15 AM, which is when they told me to be there. I signed in and waited. They made sure I was the right person, and that my paperwork was in order, then they sent me back to get my gown on and whatnot.

I got on my gown in this little cubby of a room... well, not so much a room as a bed with curtains around it. The gown was really cool, there was this hose that you could hook up to the gown to make yourself warmer or cooler, like your own personal atmosphere. I got some little bootie slippers and talked to a nurse. They asked me those, when have you eaten last? and when did you last drink something? and all that.

Around 8 something, a nurse came over and said they were ready for me. Ready for me?? WTF? I wasn't supposed to go till 9:15!! They hadn't even gotten my IV in yet. So they picked up the pace, got my IV in and took me over to the Operating room.
I was so panicked about that IV, but the lady did a good job distracting me, and they numbed it before sticking in the actual IV.

It wasn't as big as you see on TV, but it was still cool, with all those lights and stuff. I made some jokes with the anesthesia guy and the attending nurse lady. They put me on a new table, like a plank really. It fit ok, but it was kind of nerve wrecking being on such a small table.

My arms were put up on these black boards that were away from the bed, like straight cactus arms. They put on a blood pressure cuff, and some of those sticky monitoring things, and I watched it all. The last thing I remember was verbally noting that my left arm looked blotchy from the antibiotics I was given.

Then, I woke up! There was a nurse talking to me about something... she asked me some questions, like who was supposed to pick me up. I remember it took a minute for me to answer here because it was hard to focus my thoughts. I looked at the clock and it was only 10'ish. That was good because, they'd told me it would be 5-6 hours. It was actually only a couple of hours, which gave me more time at home! Yay me!

They let me sit there for a minute, then I went back to recovery - the bed with the curtain around it. The BF came in to hang out with me and I ate some crackers, drank some juice, and had some pills. MMMMMmmmm... hee hee.

Then I went home! I'm on pain pills now, and yes, it hurts. I'm trying not to take too much because the big drugs I was given are supposed to be addictive. That, and I can't drive while I'm taking them. So I have to be off them by Monday so I can go to work. I may be late that day though... depends on how I feel.


Well, that's it for today. That was alot of typing. lol

175 65 R14

...We got a free air filter!

I have been running on a donut tire for the last two weeks. Just after payday the real tire went flat and refused to be inflated again. Arg. Not only that, they were really starting to go bald. That particular tire was just awful. After calling around we found that Walmart was the cheapest for purchase and install. It was $50 for the works per tire. We got two. We really need four, but the other two will just have to wait till next month. I think they'll be ok, honestly.

While we were there, we also got the windshield wipers replaced, and my front-left headlight fixed (I was a "beer" for about 3-4 weeks) and... oh! We also got our air filter replaced... by accident. lol - They apparently thought we needed it, and replaced it thinking that's what they were supposed to do, but we hadn't actually ordered it, nor were we going to pay for something we didn't ask for. We got a free air filter!

The guy said that the old one was really gross anyway, and it was due for a change. I was planning on doing that next month anyway, so I wasn't upset that it was done... for FREE. :)

More News

Oh, also... I'm getting the lump removed from my boob tomorrow. I'll be totally knocked out, so I'm not too worried. Ok. I'm freakin' freaked out! They're going to stick needles in me and cut open my skin like a piece of meat! O M G.

I'll probably be crying from the stress later today, but for now I'm doing ok. Trying not to think about it. Cause, I'm super excited that the lump is getting removed and that I'll have my normal squishy-ness back again (with an added scar). Also, this is a prelude to a much scarier operation in a few months - the Lap-Band surgery. So this will be a taste of what it'll be like when they knock me out to go into my gut and add parts to it.

Also, I get the next two days off! So I'll be able to relax all day Friday and not have to worry about anything but pain medicine! Hee hee.

Well, that's all for today... right now... this moment. Hope you are all having a great day. Thanks for reading!

Update on the Boob.

...what's the point of him trying to be goodafter that?...

So that nobody worries. I have an appointment on January 4th to see the surgeon who will remove it. It was not made clear whether he'd remove it that day or not, but... we shall see.

On a horrible not quite as bad note, my son got suspended yesterday for choking hugging too hard a classmate. The way it was described, it was one of his friends, and he was basically roughhousing with her a little too hard. He doesn't appear to have done it maliciously, but I worry that he's a bully with a nice kid's face. Gosh I hope not though.

He has been instructed that if he so much as puts a finger on anybody at school any more he'll be in BIG trouble. As it is, he's working off his punishment at home by doing many many chores and being grounded from his favorite thing ever (video games). He's also been informed that if we find out he hurts anyone else in school, for any reason whatsoever, all his things will be removed from his room and all his privileges will be removed indefinitely. Rob said till he was 18, but I wouldn't let him be that harsh. Maybe we'd just send him to juvie or something. Because, once you take away everything a kid loves, what's the point of him trying to be good after that? What would he have to loose?

Yeah, it would just get worse if I let that happen. So, it won't. I'll put my foot down.