Headache land

...I should call the Doc and ask for some Paxil...

I've had a headache for the better part of the last week. It's not one of those excruciating rip-your-hair-out kinds of pain, but it's annoying. It feels like I have a sack of potatoes sitting on my head. Also, I'm feeling depressed. Depressed enough to think I should call the Doc and ask for some Paxil or something.

I don't know if I'm feeling depressed because of the headache or I have the headache because I'm depressed, as one of the symptoms of depression is constant headaches. I'm also stressed out on the money side, but I've been stressed over that before, and haven't felt this way in a long time. Not since the last time I got depression meds which only lasted about a month before I threw them in the garbage because they were making me gain weight and feel even worse.

So, I'm feeling like I need to cry, but I'm not sad. I feel all gloomy and circumspect. I want to yell at someone. I just feel grouchy. Ick.
Hopefully this feeling will go away soon, or I really will call the doc and get that prescription.

Frustration and Weariness

...if I lose 15 pounds like this
I won't need the surgery!

I'm not likin' today. I know its friday and all, which is great...BUT... I feel all restless and tired. I'm having trouble concentrating and looking out the window is making me sad because I'm not out there in the nice weather. It's cloudy out, not too hot, not too cold. Great tennis weather if you ask me. Gonna be going to Albany this evening, no tennis courts. Boo.

On top of that, well, I've told you about the surgery that I'm planning, right? Well, one of the pre-req's is that you follow a certain diet beforehand to get you prepped. It's not a hard diet, no measuring or weird stuff, it's merely this: You eat three meals a day only. No snacks or in-between meals. That's really all there is for now. There's a list of other things too, but I'm trying to develop new habits a little at a time so I'm not overwhelmed.

So I didn't realize how much of a snacker I was till now, plus I'm trying to eat less at each meal too, because I was a real pig. I've taken one of my normal meals and divided it in two for my breakfast and lunch. So I'm eating half as much. I've lost 4 pounds in the last week since I started doing this so it's working, but it's frustrating not to be able to eat when I'm hungry.

My family is helping out; we moved dinner up from 7:30 to 6:30 to make it easier on me so I don't have to wait so long. I eat lunch at 10:30 am, so 10:30am to 6:30 pm is still a long fricken time to wait for dinner. I lapsed and had a snack yesterday - a bowl of ice cream and cake. But other than that I've been doing pretty good, so I'm hoping the snack didn't kill the 4 pounds I've lost.

There's one other problem... if I loose more than 15 pounds I'll be underweight to qualify for my surgery and still have my insurance pay for it. Of course, the bonus to that would be that if I can lose 15 pounds like this I won't need the surgery! *shrugs* What can you do? You know what I mean?
So today is kinda bummin' me out, like I said. Can't wait till I get outta work so I can suffer while not sitting at this desk.

Warped.

...10 different tabs open, reading a magazine, talking to someone on YIMand working on cases...

Do you ever have those days where your brain is going 10 million directions at once and you can't get it to settle on just one thing long enough to get anything done? Well that's me today. I've even had this blog up for 20 minutes trying to write this because I keep getting pulled in other directions. I have 10 different tabs open in my browser, I'm reading a magazine, talking to someone on YIM and working on cases at the same time, and I still feel like I'm missing something.

Ok, so another few hours has gone by since I opened this window and still my post is incomplete. I've now started on yet another thing. I'm buying "stock" on the SimExchange. If you wanna create an account there and want me in your group let me know. My email address is here somewhere. lol.