Monday, July 14, 2008

My Ex-Boobs - Part 1

Note: This was written about an event that happened last week, on July 10th, 2008.

...positives like not having to wear a bra...

It's early Thursday morning. I have to get up and shower with the special soap so I'll be ready for surgery. I'm supposed to be there at 6:45 AM. Man that's early. I'm awake at about 6 o'clock. I figured that would be enough time to shower and use the special soap. I can't eat, not supposed to eat past midnight the night before.

I walk into the kitchen to get a small glass of water. Gotta make sure I take my breathing meds today. Breathing is very important during surgery. My stomach is growling, but it's okay, It'll only be for a little while. I take my shower, wash with the special anti-bacterial soap, and get dressed.

Sitting on the couch, waiting for Rob to wake up, crying a little for the inevitable loss of my boobs. Trying to think of the positives, like not having to wear a bra, or those cool little strapless tank top things. Trying to put this into perspective. It's only a couple of fat balls on my chest that fill out my bra, and what is that really, compared to saving my life from cancer? Will I really be missing all that much?

Staring at the clock. Time is going by so slow. I wish it was just time already, and that I was in the oblivion of anesthesia already.

Rob's finally up, I can hear the bedroom door open, then the bathroom door closes. It won't be long now till we go. I make my last minute preparations. I gather my iPod, and my DS, and make sure my meds are all packed up. I get my hat ready, and grab my crayons and coloring book in case I get bored in the hospital. I put my keys in my purse, and open the front door. It's awfully hot in here, dang.

I hear the bathroom door open, and Rob comes out. I tell him that I don't want to go, I'm scared. Mostly I'm afraid that I'll die on the operating table. He reminds me that it's all for the better good. The doctors cleared my heart for surgery, so I should be ok. Still though, I have that doom feeling you get right before something bad happens. There's nothing I can do though. It's either go through with it or die slowly from the cancer, right?

We drove quietly to the hospital. He got me for a couple slug-bugs on the way. We parked pretty close and we went inside.

In through the ER, up the elevator to the 2nd floor, and checked in with the receptionist. Watched that show "It's me or the dog" on Animal planet, in the waiting room while waiting to get called back to prep for surgery. Talked to the check-in lady to get the insurance papers signed, then went back to get prepped.
This is my 3rd surgery this year, so it's all pretty second hat to me now. Been there - done that, sort of thing. We get to the little temporary room, and I put on my purple bear gown. They say that since I'm having surgery on both sides, that they'll need to put the IV in my foot. They don't like using the port for that. I really didn't want them to use the port either, bad memories and all that. I wasn't sure about the foot thing though. That just sounded creepy. I almost teared up just thinking about it. I even started shaking from the fear of it.

They said that the anesthesiologist wanted to do the IV though, so they wouldn't be doing it right then. They took my temp with this rolling thingy they ran across my forehead. They took my blood pressure. Then the Teds and Scuds... lol. What are Teds and Scuds, you ask? The Teds are long white stocking things that keep compression to help with circulation. The Scuds (that word may be spelled wrong, but that's what it sounds like) are these weird over-wrappings that feel like a low pressure blood pressure cuff. They go all the way up past your knee, and they massage your legs, also for circulation.

They tested my blood sugar, with one of those finger-prickers. They said I was anemic. I got some oral meds, for something. I can't remember what now. They were about to take me back, so Rob left, to return after it's over.

That's it for now. I'll try and get more in later, or tomorrow.

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