Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Dogs Diary vs. Cat Diary

As seen in a dog's diary :
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

Noon - Oh boy! The
yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home, Mom! My favorite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home, Dad! My favorite!

8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch My favorite!

11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.

Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm, that did not work according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience, I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Thanks to Ivan for sending me this email - it's hilarious!
Thanks to the sites I borrowed the images from: The cat: The Dog:


Anonymous said...

That is halarious! Being an animal lover myself, but more importantly a cat owner, I found it quite amusing.Thanks for the good laugh!

dan said...


We have a cat and a dog, and this is pretty accurate. Did you write this?

Anonymous said...

hahaha lol! I love it!

Anonymous said...

I have dogs and cats and this little story sure did score BIG points for how they are - too funny. I've emailed it to all my family and friends.

Anonymous said...

i adblocked the background pic and after that your blog looked 100 times better ;)

Anonymous said...

this is frigging great, we have cats and dogs, and this is pretty much spot on.