Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The end of the year

...rather thantrying to look at the greener grass ...I decided, f*ck it.
Well, it's the end of the year. Was it productive? Probably not. Did I enjoy it? Most of it, I guess. The beginning of the year, I was ambiguous about my relationship with Rob. In March I decided to end it. April 1st I actually did the deed. I broke it off. Then we decided to give it a trial.

During the trial, which was definitely trying, there were suspicions and tears. Finally I decided, f*ck it. I don't care. I'm with him now, and rather than trying to look at the greener grass, and rather than worrying every second that he's with someone else, I'm just going to go with the flow. It doesn't always work. I still have my off days, but all in all things got better after that.

A few months down the road, we're still doing ok.

As far as other things in my life...

Well, my son is 17, almost an adult - and I'm experiencing the pangs of the impending departure. I know he's growing up and will be out of the house soon, and I'm sad. I'm happy because he's moving on, and leaving the nest, but sad because I will miss him.

My daughter is 13, almost 14 and is showing all the signs of being a teenager. She's taller than me now, and pushing away from me in an attempt to be more independent. Shopping for her for Christmas this year was harder because her tastes are changing. I kept walking down toy aisles and sighing wistfully for the days gone by when I could just bring her a flashy toy or a doll and she'd be happy.

In the weight area, I've hit a place where I've stayed steadily. I'm still in size 14/16. I could stand to lose back the 15 pounds I gained, but it's hard to get motivated again. I'm trying to eat right, but that doesn't always work out how I plan. I exercise, but only about 2-3 times a week (as opposed to the 4-5 times a week I was doing before).

Life-wise I'm trying to learn to be better at paying my bills on time and I really want to fix my credit in 2011. I don't know how well I'll succeed, but I'm trying to reduce the amount of time I spend with my head in the sand hoping it'll all go away.

2010 turned out to be not-so-bad. Here's to hoping 2011 will be one heckuva year!!

- Angi

No comments: