Friday, July 20, 2007

Frustration and Weariness

...if I lose 15 pounds like this
I won't need the surgery!

I'm not likin' today. I know its friday and all, which is great...BUT... I feel all restless and tired. I'm having trouble concentrating and looking out the window is making me sad because I'm not out there in the nice weather. It's cloudy out, not too hot, not too cold. Great tennis weather if you ask me. Gonna be going to Albany this evening, no tennis courts. Boo.

On top of that, well, I've told you about the surgery that I'm planning, right? Well, one of the pre-req's is that you follow a certain diet beforehand to get you prepped. It's not a hard diet, no measuring or weird stuff, it's merely this: You eat three meals a day only. No snacks or in-between meals. That's really all there is for now. There's a list of other things too, but I'm trying to develop new habits a little at a time so I'm not overwhelmed.

So I didn't realize how much of a snacker I was till now, plus I'm trying to eat less at each meal too, because I was a real pig. I've taken one of my normal meals and divided it in two for my breakfast and lunch. So I'm eating half as much. I've lost 4 pounds in the last week since I started doing this so it's working, but it's frustrating not to be able to eat when I'm hungry.

My family is helping out; we moved dinner up from 7:30 to 6:30 to make it easier on me so I don't have to wait so long. I eat lunch at 10:30 am, so 10:30am to 6:30 pm is still a long fricken time to wait for dinner. I lapsed and had a snack yesterday - a bowl of ice cream and cake. But other than that I've been doing pretty good, so I'm hoping the snack didn't kill the 4 pounds I've lost.

There's one other problem... if I loose more than 15 pounds I'll be underweight to qualify for my surgery and still have my insurance pay for it. Of course, the bonus to that would be that if I can lose 15 pounds like this I won't need the surgery! *shrugs* What can you do? You know what I mean?
So today is kinda bummin' me out, like I said. Can't wait till I get outta work so I can suffer while not sitting at this desk.

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